So after some discussion, my housemate and I decided to get a small tree and decorate it for the season.
Hello Friends and Family,
After the last depressing post I figured it was time for some Christmas cheer 🙂
Last Tuesday, December 10th, my department had our Christmas Lunch. At the end of it, after opening Secret Santa presents and eating delicious food, our director, Mark, read us this Christmas Psalm. (Mark is Scottish so feel free to read everything below in a Scottish accent for authenticity’s sake)
A lot of things about Christmas become traditional. One developing tradition is the reading of the Christmas Psalm. In the Bible, there wasn’t a Psalm written for Christmas. Odd that…
The Christmas Psalm
Give ear, O Lord, to my cry that goeth out of faint lips
For Christmas is nigh and mine bank balance is as scarlet
My relations compass about me
And the noise of commercials is heard throughout the land
O Lord let me not be consumed!
Consumed?’ saith the Lord
‘tis thou that wilt do the consuming if I know thee’
And in mine anguish I called upon the Lord
And he answered me and said
‘Oh, thou callest upon me now, dost thou?
That’s big of thee!
O give ear and hear for this is how Christmasses
shall be from this day forth
Thine in-laws shall come
From the East and from the West
Yea, from the uttermost parts of the earth
Bath bombs shall they bring, biscotti also
And many cheap DVDs
iTunes vouchers, Malibu, car deodorant
Pink pashminas and a scented, electric candle for the loo
Auntie Alice shall be for an affliction unto thee
Her knitting hath been going on for months
And thou shalt be covered with a garment
As with the deep.
The postman shall be hung over
Therefore shall he naff off early, forgetting to deliver
Your special Amazon order
There shall be family games – for lo, the Freeview box will be on the blink
Then shalt thou resort to drink
Yea, to very much strong drink
And in the watches of the night
With groaning and gnashing of teeth
Shalt thou lean over the sink
And small, but tone-deaf, carol singers
Shalt be from everlasting unto everlasting’